practical inquiry regarding meaning » concrete conditions » recognition
To be able to fully appreciate someone else for who they uniquely are, we'll need to be able to recognize them according to their own terms—terms that we're not already familiar with. To increase our ability to do this, it will help to first practice tuning into our own qualitative states without the need to label them, talk about them, or tell others about them. We can only ever articulate with words a small fraction of the richness of our experiences. Most of it exceeds words. Practicing the appreciation of our own qualitative states that exceed our ability to put into words will condition us to be responsive to others at a more basic level than the level at which we can articulate experiences in words, and this will provide a pre-linguistic understanding which can serve as the common ground upon which we might understand someone else prior to labels and assertions—the level at which their uniquenesses find their roots. Most of all, it will help us break out of seeing only what we tell ourselves (with words) that we see. It will help us be open to the novel and inexpressible.
Cultivating excellent listening skills will also help us recognize the subtle strengths of others. Being able to open ourselves to others through active listening will allow us to be more responsive to them—to engage with them at the level of their unique strengths. This will in turn encourage them to do the same for you, opening the possibility that your unique strengths will be recognized.
